A Giant Question Mark

That’s what the future looks like right now.  A giant question mark.

We joined this mission organization back in 2007 as associate members.  That’s a six-month to four-year commitment.  At the end of four years, we can either stay on as full members or pack up and move on to the next thing.  Our four year mark is coming up in December.

Initially, we assumed we’d stay on forever.  Now, we aren’t so sure.  Actually, we are feeling more and more sure that we are not supposed to stay.

So what’s next?  Who knows?

My husband is sending his resume out.  Right now, his resume is hanging out in the inboxes of a ministry, some non-profit organizations, and some corporate places — in Atlanta, Washington DC, Blacksburg, VA.  The resume is probably on its way to Charlotte, maybe even some places in the Orlando area.

We just don’t know.  Big question mark.

I am gearing up to homeschool the children this year.  I’ve been an on-again, off-again homeschooler for a while now, but I’ve never homeschooled six children.

This is the year my baby would have gone off to kindergarten.  I was this close to having a quiet home, time for mid-morning coffee with friends, time to stay caught-up on laundry, the opportunity to watch Rachel Ray.  I could have eaten dark chocolate with my last cup of morning coffee without having to hide!

Instead, I’m bringing everybody home.  I’ll be teaching kindergarten, second grade, third grade, fifth grade, seventh grade, and eighth grade.

I’m excited!  I’m terrified.  I’ll love it.  I’ll hate it.  I’ll feel like SuperMom.  I’ll feel like LoserMom, losing her patience over multiplication tables and cursive writing.

So, we’ll be starting our homeschool year in Florida.  And we have no idea where the school year will end.  It’s all a big question mark.

How about you?  Have you ever lived with a huge question mark hanging over your head?  You survived, right?  RIGHT?  You can encourage me?  You can encourage me, you know, right down there in the comment section, by telling how you survived the dreaded question mark.

And you’ll pray for me.  For my husband’s job search.  For my kids. For our apartment neighbors, who probably enjoyed the hours of quiet while my kids were in school.  Right?  RIGHT?

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “A Giant Question Mark

  1. I am living under a question mark right now. I am to be a grandmother. I don’t know if the state will allow my daughter to parent or not. She is considered a vulnerable adult, walked away from her adult foster care and is on probation on drug-related charges. She has about 6 months to establish a safe home. The only thing I know is that my husband and I have decided not to foster or adopt her child. It was a tough, but ultimately the right decision.

    So, I will hang out with you in the waiting place!

    No! That’s not for us!
    Somehow we’ll escape all that waiting and staying. We’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more we’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky.

    Dr. Seuss was genius!

  2. Diane Mateer

    I had no idea you even had a blog.

    I loved your question mark blog. Yes, we understand COMPLETELY. When I went back to Kentucky in Februrary (when you sweetly had the rest of my family over for a Super Bowl Party), I felt like all I said the whole time was, “We have no idea what tomorrow holds.” Even the other day, my dad said, “Would you consider living in Florida after your time as an associate is over?” I told him that I was not being dogmatic about anything right now – the Lord is the only one who knows what tomorrow holds for us, and right now He is the only One who needs to know.

    Gal. 5:5 “For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope.” I guess while we are in the holding pattern, we can both just focus on what the Lord wants us to learn. I’m right there with you, friend.

    Love,
    Diane

    • I told you sister we are living a parallel universe spiritually (you know I would never attempt to homeschool :)- but walking into the great unknown. Tomorrow is Jeff’s last graduation. I’ve cried 8 times already this week. The big question mark glooms, but God is providing clarity. Know that I am praying for you guys. Keep us posted. Once the madness stops and Jeff has completely transitioned I will be calling you soon. Big love.

  3. Lana

    You bet I’ll be praying for you. You are such a special family. I know God has great things planned for you.

    As for the question mark, isn’t that pretty much the way of life? We really never know what the next moment might hold–much less the next day or week or year. That is part of the mystery of walking with God. The great thing about it is that He knows what is going to happen, and we can trust Him.

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