Heaven Stands

As I was driving home from the hospital today, I was listening to JJ Heller.  Her song “Your Hands” came on.  So then I was driving down I-4 playing and replaying and replaying this song, singing along with tears streaming down my face.

When my world is shaking

Heaven stands

When my heart is breaking

I never leave Your hands

What a good reminder!  In the past 10 days, my world has been shaking a bit.

My husband continues to have arrythmias, though the new medicine seems to be helping a bit, and now his liver enzymes are elevated and his blood pressure is often lower than we’d like it to be.  We are spending a lot of time waiting to see what the medicine does and monitoring his heart and checking his liver enzyme count every day and trying to keep his blood sugar levels within normal range.

At home, I’m giving hugs and trying to consistently discipline little boys who are pushing the limits to see if the boundaries are the same while Daddy’s in the hospital.  I’m answering questions like, “When will Daddy come home?” and “Do you think Daddy is going to die?” and “What will happen to all of us if he does die?”

Our world is shaking – some moments are little tremors and some moments, like when my husband was being shocked by his defibrillator, feel like giant earthquakes.  But Heaven stands.  Always.

And there have been times in the past 10 days when my heart has been breaking.  Last Tuesday when my husband was having dangerous arrhythmias and I hugged him goodbye so I could rush back for the kids’ end of school program, I thought I might be telling him goodbye for the last time.  My heart was breaking.  When I had to leave my 10 year old daughter sobbing in fear while I rushed my husband to the ER, my heart was breaking.  When my 7 year old asks me, with a voice full of fear, if his daddy will die, my heart breaks.  But I never leave my Father’s hands.  Never.

Those are comforting thoughts for me.

When my world is shaking

Heaven stands

When my heart is breaking

I never leave Your hands

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Heaven Stands

  1. Lana

    Oh, Jennifer, my heart breaks with you and for you. I can’t tell you how the Lord has kept you all on my heart and lifted before Him. You all must be very dear to His heart for Him to keep you continually on my mind. Know you are loved and prayed for.

  2. husband and I have been praying for you the last few days so much!!

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